A Chick's Shoes

You cannot avoid hearing about the controversy involving Chick-fil-A and the gay community these days.  I normally would avoid something this combative, but this is one situation in which I cannot avoid saying something.  What I would like to do here is show some perspective from both sides.  I believe this has been the proverbial making a mountain out of a molehill in some regards but unfortunately, there is a mountain in the room and the gay and Christian communities need to climb it.

First, let’s take a look at Chick-fil-A. This is a very successful fast food chain that has kept no secrets about their Christianity. I have admired their tenacity to adhere to their Christian moral code in being closed on Sundays in a strong capitalistic country – which I took as an indication that following God was more important to them than profits. It is probably this code they follow that gives them the confidence to support anti-gay marriage organizations and politicians, as well as making comments in interviews. 

On July 16, COO of Chick-fil-A (CFA) Dan Cathy was interviewed by The Baptist Press on his views about family.  This is what his response was: 

“We are very much supportive of the family – the Biblical definition of the family unit.  We are a family-owned business and we are married to our first wives.  We give God thanks for that.”

If you knew nothing of Cathy and CFA before this, you might not read that much into this.  But the gay community knew about the company’s past support against them having rights to marry, so this seemingly benign comment was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  From a legal standpoint, Cathy and the CFA Company have done nothing illegal.  However, when someone owns a company that has that much influence and is considered an unofficial spokesperson for the Christians and Republican conservatives, then Cathy should have considered making such comments could offend the gay rights activists.  He should have known that being in the public eye, he has to consider his ability to spark and ignite a fire on what is one of the most sensitive issues being debated in America today.

As soon as the gay rights activists voiced their anger over what Cathy stated, the CFA supporters emerged and the two groups together went into a battle, drawing sides.  The CFA side has Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee and almost every Christian stating it was Cathy’s right of free speech and they agree with him.  What seems to have gotten out of hand, in my opinion, is the governments’ involvement in refusing CFA licenses to expand into cities such as Chicago, Philadelphia and Boston.

But let’s look at the heart of this.  Most Christians are against gay marriage.  There are even some Christians who believe that being gay is a choice and that people who have chosen to be gay can be counseled to change their life’s choice.  Having grown up in a church, I learned that there is nothing that scares a Christian community more than the fear of the world in which they live turning more and more towards sin.  As the U.S. is starting to make changes by some schools not allowing prayer, groups trying to take the word God out of the Pledge of Allegiance and other historical lyrics – some Christians are feeling abandoned by their country.  In the media, it’s OK for athletes and musicians to recognize God, but it is not OK for a Christian to voice an opinion that appears to be anti-Democrat.  The Christian community’s hands are tied in trying to have affirmation and support to be who they want to be.  Some have become more and more vocal against any group of people who they feel represent the sin they do not want in their world.  I believe this has created a large amount of hostility in the Christian community.

Here is where my concern lies:  Christians are creating the world they want to live without realizing they are limiting God.  If a Christian is truly strong in their walk with God, a sinful environment should not matter.  If they feel they are in a world of sin, they should cling to God to keep themselves close to Him and His path and not get caught up in pointing fingers at others.  The God I learned about in church would say to “love the sinner, hate the sin” but I am seeing many Christians hating the sinner in both this situation and in others.  This hypocrisy is what is making being a Christian and fighting for gay rights mutually exclusive.

On the flip side, the gay community has been privy to violence, hatred and intolerance that mirrors what African-Americans endured during segregation.  For a person to believe they were born gay, to want to live their life authentically and then to have a large majority telling them they are not normal and are sinners has to be the loneliest feeling in the world.  There is a lot of reason for a gay person to have pent up anger and hostility.

 I was victim to verbal abuse when I was a kid, so I refuse to pick on anyone­; I cannot and will not declare hatred towards anyone trying to be who they feel they are.  The God and church I grew up with have taught me to love everyone.  I cannot get so caught up in evaluating whether another person is living “sinfully” because I am trying to be sure I am not.  I am trying to help my children to know God and themselves so that they will feel accepted and loved and hopefully so they can express the same to others, regardless of religion or sexual orientation.

I know why CFA angered and hurt the gay community.  It is just as much their right to express their offense as it is Cathy’s right to express his views.  Freedom of speech has to be extended to all Americans, even if we don’t like what is stated.  I think the governments in Chicago, Philadelphia and Boston see what CFA is doing as being against the protected class of “sexual orientation” and that they would have had the same response to license refusal if CFA made a sexist or racial comment or shown support to sexist or racial groups.  Whether this is the issue is for the courts, judges and juries to decide.

At the core of the gay community are people struggling with sexual identity.  A person who believes he or she is gay has to endure heartbreaking loneliness and fear.  They feel no one will accept them and they have seen the violence against some gay people and I imagine they are afraid. 

At the core of the Christian community are people struggling with their spiritual identity. They are trying to sort out why they believe what they believe.  DC Talk, a famous Christian music group, once wrote a part of a song that stated:

“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.  This is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

I don’t think this applies only to atheists, but to anyone struggling with God and spirituality and may be put off from seeing Christianity as a loving relationship with God if God’s representatives keep a lifestyle that is comprised of calling others sinners, using hateful comments or simply making others feel inferior.  If there is someone struggling with trying to find Christians to look up to, to give them an example of God’s love – then they may feel like an outcast and unwelcome if they are seeing actions that lead them to believe God’s love is conditional.  For those who need someone to cling to in this world of hate and sin, how lonely and scared a person must feel in the midst of how some Christians are behaving.

What I believe we really have here are two groups that have more in common than they realize.  Both feel lonely, misunderstood, abnormal, unaccepted, full of frustration, anger and resentment – and living in a world where their governments do not always support their ways of life.  If you live in America today, you have to resolve to be respectful of others who are different.  You do not have to accept, understand, or adopt these differences, but you need to learn to respect them.  You need to learn to see all people as children of God (or whatever deity in which you believe).  As you go on through this media fueled controversy, try to rise above it – show love – and put on the shoes of the other side and show compassion – just as God would.